Get the latest single parent news & help questions...
Click here to subscribe to our newsletter!

Get all the latest Aussie single parent freebies, news and articles - subscribe to our mailing list!

* indicates required
Close



Follow Us!
Get Breaking Single Parent News and the latest Single Mum Forum posts in your news feed everyday!


go to the Single Mum Australia Facebook Page go to Twitter singlemum.com.au



Australian Separation and Divorce Articles



A mum and dad guide
to parenting after separation


Child-focused share parenting

Mark Gallagher | Relationship Therapist and Psychotherapist | 20 August 2014

A guide to parenting after separation

Child focused parenting during separation


Parenting your child after separating from the other parent can be difficult at times. It's at stressful times of transition, like this, when a child needs each parent to be focused on the child's needs.

Unfortunately, too many parents behave badly and play nasty tit-for-tat attacking games, using the child as a pawn.

Even if your child's other parent is acting like a control freak, it's important to behave like a mature adult for the sake of your child.

The following steps will help establish effective boundaries for each solo parenting household(you can print a copy of the below table here)...


Mum's time with the child

Dad's time with the child

  1. Her time / her responsibility.
  1. Her lifestyle choices / routine.
  1. Her way of parenting / discipline.
  1. Only polite and brief talk with the other parent, that is child-focused. No deep and meaningfuls about personal stuff.
  1. If your separation is still new and raw then email or text communication might be the cleanest way to sort arrangements (Do not harass the other parent).
  1. Your child is not allowed to complain about Dad's style of parenting. Do not pry into your kid's life with Dad.
  1. Make an arrangement on set phone calls from Dad each week when your child is with you.
  1. Keep to the routine; yet be flexible and swap nights when something out of the ordinary comes up, like a funeral or parent sickness.
  1. His time / his responsibility.
  1. His lifestyle choices / routine.
  1. His way of parenting / discipline.
  1. Only polite and brief talk with the other parent, that is child-focused. No deep and meaningfuls about personal stuff.
  1. If your separation is still new and raw then email or text communication might be the cleanest way to sort arrangements (Do not harass the other parent).
  1. Your child is not allowed to complain about Mum's style of parenting. Do not pry into your kid's life with Mum.
  1. Make an arrangement on set phone calls from Mum each week when your child is with you.
  1. Keep to the routine; yet be flexible and swap nights when something out of the ordinary comes up, like a funeral or parent sickness.

Print a copy of the above table here





Mark Gallagher
Grad Dip Psych, B Soc Sc, Dip Coun, Cert Couple Coun, Cert Mediation

Relationship Therapist and Psychotherapist, North Lakes, Queensland.

Mark specialises in family therapy and couples counselling. With 30 years experience he offers a high standard of service. Couples and family counselling is a specialised field. Not many counsellors and psychologists are formally trained in couples counselling. And even fewer of those trained are male counsellors. Mark was trained in couples counselling 20 years ago and currently use the latest developments in the field.

How to contact Mark:
Email: mjgallagher@live.com.au
Phone: 0434 611 494


Have your say on this article - Make a comment below!



Stay in the Aussie single parent loop!



Don't miss another Australian single parent article, news item, freebie, research / media call-out or offer!

Why not join our 15,000+ fan Australian Single Parent Facebook page, Twitter page or Australian Single Parent Mailing List?

Join now by clicking on an icon below!

Go to the Australian single parent Facebook page Go to the Australian single parent Twitter page Subscribe to the Australian single parent Mailing List

Read more SingleMum.com.au exclusive Family Law articles


This article may not be reprinted, reproduced, or retransmitted in whole or in part without the express written consent of SingleMum.com.au. This article contains only general information. For advice regarding your own personal circumstances, always seek individual advice from a qualified professional. Read the full Singlemum.com.au Disclaimer here


What does it mean to be a single mum?Of course, the

kids

are the most important thing in a single mum's life. Kids are the focus and always have been. But along with the children, there are other matters that can confuse a single mum's life.

Centrelink

plays a big part of a single mother's life, mainly because this is where a large percentage of single mums get their finances from. Centrelink are the source from where the

single mother pension

, or as it is otherwise known, the single parent payment comes from. The single mother pension is a subsistence amount, but just the same, it is money to live on, and so it is important, no matter if it is called single parent payment, single mother pension or whatever Centrelink welfare classes it at the time

Often, single mums come out of a

divorce

or defacto relationship only to find that their troubles have just begun, and find that their first step leads them towards Family Law - it's time to engage a lawyer.
There are more than just Centrelink finance problems to worry about, as mentioned before, but also

child custody

issues. Child custody is something that hits right at the heart of

single mums

. If a single mother's ex husband or ex partner has been a domestic violence perpetrator, the mum may be greatly worried about child custody. They worry that their kids won't be safe with their spouse, who has already proven to be abusive because they caused

domestic violence

, which resulted in a divorce or separation.

Even so,

Family Court

will often still order a form of child custody named

Shared Parenting

. Shared Parenting is a form of child custody division of time or parental responsibility between the parents. Mother's often look for a good divorce lawyer to try to avoid share parenting with an abusive ex-spouse after divorce, however in many cases Shared Parenting is still the outcome after the divorce, no matter how good the divorce lawyers have been. They will often settle for visitation at a contact centre or access centre where fathers or mothers are supervised during child custody access.

Please remember the bigger font words,because we will use it often in our website.